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Sad realization

  • Dec. 30th, 2008 at 7:59 PM

I sometimes run through my friends list to see who might need a "nudge" to reconnect here on LJ. Some people just decide it's time to move on (I still miss [info]discograss  and his dimples) but others seem to drop off the radar and no one knows what happened.


One of those people who seemed to just disappear was [info]tommyx . He was one of the first group of people to friend me when I started this thing many years ago. He would often post for awhile and then not post for months at a time. He was a very cool guy who lived with HIV and didn't let it get him down. A number of his friends here have been concerned because he hasn't posted in about two years now. None of us seemed to be able to find out any info on him.

Well, recently I joined one of those genealogy sites where you can enter names into large search engines and get all kinds of information. So on a whim today I decided to enter Tommy's name (thanks,  [info]magicwoman ) and the birthday he listed in his profile. Sadly I found a matching record in the Social Security database for his name and birthdate stating that he had passed away on December 3, 2006. I have no way of confirming this independently, but the birthdate, name and place of residence all match as well as the time frame of his last post.

I know there are people on my f-list that knew Tommy. I'm sad to find out this news but glad that I finally know what happened to him. Be at peace, Tommy.

*sigh*



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Comments

( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
[info]r_pity wrote:
Dec. 31st, 2008 02:37 am (UTC)
I hate losing touch with people. I had a boot and leather bud that I used to chat with on AOL years ago. He disappeared too, but I saw his name online a couple of months after he had gone missing and it was his sister telling his online friends he had died. Very thoughtful of her really. Odd how people you don;t know in person or never meet can have such an effect on your life.
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[info]txkink wrote:
Jan. 1st, 2009 12:36 am (UTC)
It is odd that you can,in a way, get to know someone without ever physically meeting them. Then when they're gone (for whatever reason) it is keenly felt.
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[info]xanath wrote:
Dec. 31st, 2008 03:28 am (UTC)
:(

I'm sorry to hear that. What a loss.
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[info]txkink wrote:
Jan. 1st, 2009 12:36 am (UTC)
True, he was a cool guy
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[info]voxbaryton wrote:
Dec. 31st, 2008 04:47 am (UTC)
He must have been fairly interesting to have created a Beat-related community. I am sorry to not have known him.
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[info]txkink wrote:
Jan. 1st, 2009 12:37 am (UTC)
Yeah , he was a good guy with a lot of varied interests. He was also pretty down to earth.
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[info]cubdaddy wrote:
Dec. 31st, 2008 07:07 am (UTC)
I, too, am saddened to learn of Tommy's passing. I'll pass it along to bluedrum.
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[info]txkink wrote:
Jan. 1st, 2009 12:37 am (UTC)
Thanks, man!
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[info]plebiansunite wrote:
Dec. 31st, 2008 09:18 pm (UTC)
By reading Tommy's last few posts, he had been having significant health challenges dealing with his positive status. His death, while sad, is not surprising considering all of the factors included.

I will share your post with another friend of mine on here (who I found through Tommy).
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[info]txkink wrote:
Jan. 1st, 2009 12:41 am (UTC)
I knew when he didn't past anything for so long that it likely meant he'd passed away. He'd been sick for so long that I always worried he'd been sick again when he didn't post.

Thanks for passing it along.
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[info]tiger66466 wrote:
Jan. 1st, 2009 02:04 am (UTC)
Awww, sorry to hear about your friend passing!

I had something kinda similiar happen to me once. A few years back I was in a nostalgic mood and was googling and looking up people I wanted to get back in contact with (not LJ related). I happened to find something on a friend of mine from college. Unfortunately it was the announcement of her funeral service - from a couple years prior.

I'm not 100% but I think she died in a car accident. I had her parents home address and wrote a letter and included pictures I had of her and told them I'd just learned about her death even though it'd been a few years. I couldn't bring myself to ask how she died (her announcement didn't say). But I did some more online digging and found someone else who had died that same day and their names were connected elsewhere and it was stated that it was a car accident.

I still miss her. God, she was one of the nicest, coolest people I'd ever known.
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[info]txkink wrote:
Jan. 1st, 2009 02:31 am (UTC)
Sorry to hear you lost a friend as well. I only knew him through LJ but he and I had some similar interests and he had some great opinions on world events. I had a nagging suspicion that he had died because he had a lot of trouble with his HIV, but I never had the means to find out. Then when I joined this genealogy search engine I was able to find his death record in the social security database. I'm just glad to have a little closure knowing what happened.

Let's both have a better 2009! :)
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( 12 comments — Leave a comment )